have any of you ever felt unbeautiful? so unbeautiful that you feel like killing yourself, knowing that such a horrible looking being like you shouldn't even exist in this beautiful world and that you are just a waste of life.

sometimes, i would cry in my locked bedroom and insult myself and all that. i make mistakes and i go home, lock the door, and suffocate myself in blankets. that's why i have a fear of making new friends because strangers will surely see my fucking flaws clearly and i don't want that.

have you ever said something to someone, and wished you hadn't say it? you know that you have hurt that person countless of times, and yet you do it again. things that i shouldn't have said to people stay stuck in my mind for almost years and i don't even have the fucking guts to say sorry.

have you ever thought that maybe, being along is much better than being with others? besides the fact that you can never get hurt that way, you can also avoid hurting them. that way, your life and thoughts wouldn't get so complicated and tangled.